Had a fairly good week this week. Kind of just keeping to myself and thinking about a lot of shit. Trying to decide if my marriage is worth biting the bullet and playing it nice until things ease up?.. because they always do, eventually. Or is it time to just throw in the towel? .. I'm still deciding.
Trying to fight off this damned depression, too. I can't let it overtake me like it does sometimes. I need to be stronger than that. I'm not a wacko and I need to quit acting like one. I don't need my kids to see me that way either and it's not the way I want to live my life. So for now, I'm biting my tongue, putting on my half fake smile, and just going with the flow of things. Sometimes it's just easier to block everything out that way.
I've been spending my extra time working on my new blog for my new crafting business and it's DONE! Please be a pal and go check it out, maybe follow us on FB or Google +, too? I'll beg if I have to.. no, really.
B and D Novelties and Gifts
Leave a comment and I'll make an extra effort to come visit your blog and comment as well! (isn't bribery great!?!?)
Luckily, I've got a few writing clients under my sleeve right now, so that has been keeping me busy and bringing a little bit of extra money in. It's still not as much as a job outside of the home would be but it's better than nothing for now. I've been keeping myself busy with writing for $$$, blogging, making stuff for my new crafting business, working on blog/fb page for the new crafting business, kids, cleaning....etc.. Sometimes my mind wanders and I just think too much, so it's better to keep myself busy so I don't have the time to think!
The kids reminded me the other day that their teacher told them they have 26 days of school left. That was a few days ago so it's less than that now. .. Crap. I'm already depressed because I'm stuck in the house all the time but at least now I get some quiet ME time during the day while the kids are at school. Summer is going to suck ass! Well, actually, it has it's pros and cons:
Pros of summer vacation: Getting to sleep in. Not having to spend hours helping with homework. Not having to worry about library fines, or what supplies they have to have in by what date and which kid needs it, being able to go out of town during the day if I need to without having to worry about being back in time for the kids to be home from school.
Cons of summer vacation: Kids: fighting. whining. arguing. No quiet time for me. Ummm, what are the other cons? Apart from the kids getting bored?
I really can't think of any other cons. LUCKILY, the kids have made a ton of friends in the neighborhood from school, so they are usually out and about playing with the neighbor kids instead of being stuck at home with each other. We just moved to this town last June, so last summer they didn't know anyone and were stuck playing with each other all day every day. Once they started school, they began finding friends in their classes that lived close by, so they would go play with them, and then these new friends would introduce them to their friends...etc.. So now everyone is friends. It's a very small town, so I feel more secure about letting them play in the neighborhood. It's very quiet around here and everyone knows everyone else's business (ok, I don't like that part), so I feel safe in letting them run around the neighborhood. Plus we have had numerous talks with them about stranger danger and what to do if an adult tried to steal them! Of course, they think they are super heroes and would be able to beat up any kidnappers! ha! Anyway, so lately, they come home from school and then go right outside to play, giving me more ME time. I'm hoping this will be the case during the summer. I hate to sound like a mean mom, but OMFG my kids drive me insane. They constantly fight and argue, and hit each other, and drama queen is always crying... a mom can only take so much before her top begins to blow!! Even when I try to do activities with them to keep them occupied they still argue over the dumbest shit. In 5 years, they will be entering the puberty age and then I am really, really screwed. Fuck. How does everyone else get through the summer vacay?? Especially if you have more than one child all around the same age like I do??