I have a deep love for music, but it’s not music that most of you know and it’s not music that you typically hear on the radio. I love metal music. I’m a bonified proud headbanging metal head. I started out as a kid into 80s hair metal bands, but my tastes turned into harder and harder music (I still love 80s music, though, btw). When I was a teenager, I was introduced to the heaviest music on the planet: death metal. A friend of mine’s brother told me about a local radio station that had a metal show every weekend where they played nothing but the heaviest shit for a few hours. I was hooked. This is sort of where my adventure began.
When I was a senior in high school, I began my own underground metal magazine, also known as a “fanzine” or just “zine”. At first, I had no clue what I was doing. I started contacting underground bands asking for interviews. Of course, this was done via snail mail because back then only privileged people had computers and email. I was corresponding to bands and becoming friends with a lot of band members.
I graduated high school and this was it. I had a decent job, was living with my mom, had hardly any bills, was single, no kids; I was a free woman!! I began travelling to different metal shows and various metal fests around the country. I travelled to Milwaukee, Chicago, New York, and New Jersey, just to name a few places. I made some amazing friends. I had a great friend in the Philadelphia area that I used to visit and stay with. I had friends in Long Island, New York that I would stay with. They would throw a party when I came and they would always be such a blast!
When I was a senior in high school, I began my own underground metal magazine, also known as a “fanzine” or just “zine”. At first, I had no clue what I was doing. I started contacting underground bands asking for interviews. Of course, this was done via snail mail because back then only privileged people had computers and email. I was corresponding to bands and becoming friends with a lot of band members.
I graduated high school and this was it. I had a decent job, was living with my mom, had hardly any bills, was single, no kids; I was a free woman!! I began travelling to different metal shows and various metal fests around the country. I travelled to Milwaukee, Chicago, New York, and New Jersey, just to name a few places. I made some amazing friends. I had a great friend in the Philadelphia area that I used to visit and stay with. I had friends in Long Island, New York that I would stay with. They would throw a party when I came and they would always be such a blast!
My ‘zine began to grow. I would get backstage passes to interview bands or just to meet them. I went to over 100 concerts (I lost count along the way). I was so free and young! I would stay up until 3am and sleep all day, or go to work, if it was a work day.. I could handle it!
Along the way, I became friends with one of the Djs on the metal radio show that I listened to. He introduced me to a lot of bands and to the person in charge of the metal program at the radio station. It didn’t take me long to get trained and have my own metal radio show. I fucking loved it!! It was so awesome hosting my own metal show! I still have some cassette tape recordings of some of my shows somewhere. I had a lot of respect in the underground “scene” as we used to call it. First of all, I was a female (and females into such heavy music are pretty rare) who was into the music for the music, and not to be a groupie whore to any guy that was in a band. People who really knew me, knew that I had a heart of gold and this music was my passion. I put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into my magazine and it lasted for about 10 years. I had strangers come up to me at shows or festivals asking me if I was... me, telling me how much they loved my magazine or my radio show.
Ok, stop your stereotypical thoughts right there. Many of you may be thinking, “eww, a bunch of greasy long haired tattoo laden headbangers?”. Shut your face. To be honest, many of my friends from back then may have looked a bit odd and even a little scary, but most of them had a big heart and would give the shirt off of their back to help a friend. I never felt judged by these people; everyone welcomed me with open arms.
I miss these days so much. They were the time of my life. I have soo many crazy stories and crazy memories from those days. One thing that sparked my idea to write this post was that one of my old friends from Chicago that I used to be close to, is terminally ill and under hospice care. He was one of those people that was very active, was in a band, traveled to other countries with his band, and he had this insanely funny sense of humor. He was one of those people that you could not be around without laughing your ass off! It’s breaking my heart to know he is going through this and that our days of fun are long gone.
Of course, I love my family. I just get depressed some times. I hardly ever get to go to any metal concerts because we don’t have the money. I’m stuck at home all the freakin time; never really get to go out and have fun and let loose. I have reconnected with a lot of my old friends from back then on Facebook and it’s great to catch up, but it’s just not the same. I know I can’t get those days back, none of us can ever get our past back, but I have the memories to hold on to forever. This is one reason why I am glad that I waited until I was a little older before having kids (I was 26 with my first). If I had a kid when I was a teenager like most of my friends did, I never would have gotten to experience any of this. I got to enjoy my teenage and young adults yours to the fullest.
Some memories:
Me with Alice Cooper (yes, the Alice Cooper!), circa '98?
My friend from Philly, and friend from Long Island at one of the Long Island parties.
My friend Carolyn with Piggy (R.I.P.) and Eric of Voivod (i was always the one taking the pic, lol)
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