I'm sitting here on a Friday night, bored as Hell. Husband has been asleep on the couch since like 8:00. I've been sitting here entering a bunch of giveaways and sweepstakes online. We *almost* had a semi-date night tomorrow night. My cousin's new wife invited us over for a couples night, with another couple friends that we have, just to watch a movie and eat some good food. He was actually going to go with me, but now he has to work 10 hours tomorrow. If he works the full 10 hours, he won't be home in time and I'll end up going by myself. *sigh* I don't know if I'll have more fun with or without him? Not like he would pay any attention to me while we were there anyway.
I have my good days and my bad days. I hate days where I just wake up in a pissed off mood and I'm snappy all day long. I really don't enjoy those days at all. Then I have days where everything makes me cry! A TV show can make me cry, one tiny little comment can make me cry, everything upsets me. ... Makes me hate being a woman some times! Then I have good days. These good days don't come very often. These are days where I feel great and energetic about the day, and just a completely good mood. My medication helps keep the bad days from being every day. I am still so thankful for my medicine. Even though I still have some bad days, I'm so much better than I was before I got on medication. I was just a mess. My mood swings were insane, I hated life and everyone in it (apart from family and close friends). I hated myself. Now, the depression still pops up once in awhile, but it is sooo much better than it used to be. I don't want to be on medication forever, but I don't want to go off of it either because it helps so much.
This was me before meds:
This is me now:
Happy, but still a bit cynical!!