Sunday, October 30, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Halloween Job!
Ugh, first of all, the place that was hosting my blog background somehow had their account deleted or something like that, so the other day I came to my blog and everything was all fuckered up. I fixed it for now, but hope to find something better for the background at least, whenever I find the time.
It's the week of Halloween. Mmmwahahahahahaaaa! I love this time of year. I let the kids pick out their own costumes and they all picked out evil/scary costumes... *sniff* they make mommy so proud!! I'm sure to have pics up on Sunday Snaps. How many of you raid your kids' trick or treat stash? haha, I'd be lying if I said I didn't while they are at school. My kids are good kids though and they always offer to give us some first. I have mixed feelings about Trick or Treat. It's fun for the kids, but sometimes the other kids running around and pushing in front of smaller kids piss me off. Last year I had to yell at some older kids because they were running in front of everyone else that was in line. I really hate having to yell at someone else's kids, but their parents were not around so they were just running around doing whatever the wanted and I was not about to let these little brats keep pushing in front of my kids who are waiting patiently in line.
Good news! My husband gets to go back to work on Monday!! Finally, after over a year! We have heard so many rumors about his job, but his case worker at worker's comp. said that they are working overtime right now so he should get lots of hours. We'll see, I guess. I'm still job hunting, but now I'm worried about if when I do get a job, we won't have a babysitter. We don't know anyone in this town. I have one friend that might be able to help out, but she lives like 20 minutes away.. it would really depend on my hours and where I get a job. Guess I shouldn't worry about it until that time comes.
Until he goes back to work, we are broke. I mean, we literally don't have $5 to our name. He has two more days of physical therapy this week and we have no clue how he's going to have the gas to get there. OMG, I will be soooo glad when this shit is OVER. If he can at least get back to work full time, we will be ok. Still living paycheck to paycheck, but will be ok. Once I get a job, then we will be doing good. Those two years in college have to pay off eventually, right??
Oh yeah, and I got an award! Weeeeeeee!
Thanks to My Gamble In The Wind for passing this on to me! This award is for up and coming bloggers with less than 100 followers. So, this blog isn't really NEW, but I've never pushed for followers, so they have always been low. It would be great to have some more!!
I'm passing this award on to
Everything Is Stupid
Free To Be Stacie Lee
Please stop by and tell them hello and be a trooper by following them on GFC, FB or Twitter!!
PHOTO OF THE DAY
It's the week of Halloween. Mmmwahahahahahaaaa! I love this time of year. I let the kids pick out their own costumes and they all picked out evil/scary costumes... *sniff* they make mommy so proud!! I'm sure to have pics up on Sunday Snaps. How many of you raid your kids' trick or treat stash? haha, I'd be lying if I said I didn't while they are at school. My kids are good kids though and they always offer to give us some first. I have mixed feelings about Trick or Treat. It's fun for the kids, but sometimes the other kids running around and pushing in front of smaller kids piss me off. Last year I had to yell at some older kids because they were running in front of everyone else that was in line. I really hate having to yell at someone else's kids, but their parents were not around so they were just running around doing whatever the wanted and I was not about to let these little brats keep pushing in front of my kids who are waiting patiently in line.
Good news! My husband gets to go back to work on Monday!! Finally, after over a year! We have heard so many rumors about his job, but his case worker at worker's comp. said that they are working overtime right now so he should get lots of hours. We'll see, I guess. I'm still job hunting, but now I'm worried about if when I do get a job, we won't have a babysitter. We don't know anyone in this town. I have one friend that might be able to help out, but she lives like 20 minutes away.. it would really depend on my hours and where I get a job. Guess I shouldn't worry about it until that time comes.
Until he goes back to work, we are broke. I mean, we literally don't have $5 to our name. He has two more days of physical therapy this week and we have no clue how he's going to have the gas to get there. OMG, I will be soooo glad when this shit is OVER. If he can at least get back to work full time, we will be ok. Still living paycheck to paycheck, but will be ok. Once I get a job, then we will be doing good. Those two years in college have to pay off eventually, right??
Oh yeah, and I got an award! Weeeeeeee!
Thanks to My Gamble In The Wind for passing this on to me! This award is for up and coming bloggers with less than 100 followers. So, this blog isn't really NEW, but I've never pushed for followers, so they have always been low. It would be great to have some more!!
I'm passing this award on to
Everything Is Stupid
Free To Be Stacie Lee
Please stop by and tell them hello and be a trooper by following them on GFC, FB or Twitter!!
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sunday Snaps -- October 23
I realized earlier how boring of a week I have had. I didn't even take any pics! It was boring but good to relax and get caught up on some things! Since I have no pics from the week, here is a video I shot earlier. This is my 8 yr old acting crazy in the backseat. He is usually very quiet and shy.. no, really! Too much sugar, maybe?? hmmm
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Pouring My Heart Out: I'm Fat.
I love 
If you feel like opening up and sharing a deep dark secret, link up and join us!!
Brutally honest can be difficult, but good, right? I'm about to talk about a problem that has been a problem in my life for.. most of my life and it's been a big embarrassment for me since I was a kid. I have a severe addiction to food. No, I'm not even joking. I'm fat. I've been fat since I was a young child. As far back as I can remember, I loved to eat. I was an only child and my father wasn't in my life, so it was always just my mom and I. My mom is overweight, too. I would be rewarded with food. We would celebrate things with food. I remember ordering pizza and spitting the entire thing in half, and eating until I felt sick. I've been on a million different diets. I spent my school years being made fun of. I was always picked last in gym class. I was called every name possible. Boys were never interested in me; I was the one they came to for advice because they liked my friend instead. I started a blog 4 years ago that was originally meant to be about my weight loss journey. It's still active on blogger, you can check it out here ... but I don't think it has been updated in over a year, probably. I just checked, it's been over a year. lol. I did lose weight, I lost like 45 lbs and was feeling great. My husband and I had just split up when I started the blog. However, 4 months later, we got back together. Things were great at first, but as things began to get stressful, I slowly stopped eating healthy and exercising. I'm fat. I know I am. I don't need people telling me that I am. I hate myself. I've always been paranoid about meeting new people, thinking that they are going to make fun of me (due to years of bullying and being told that I was fat and disgusting). I never wanted to meet my husband's new friends because I assumed they would be thinking, "What is he doing with this fat chick?". I don't like going out to clubs or bars because I feel like everyone is looking at me. I always compare myself to all of the beautiful women out there.
Food addiction is horrible. I always want to eat. I don't feel like I am satisfied until I feel that stuffed/bloated feeling and then feel sick afterwards. Even when I do feel sick, I may be thinking about leftovers that are in the kitchen for later. Imagine a recovering alcoholic having cupboards full of alcohol and then being told not to touch any of it. I have to eat. I have to go to the grocery story. I have to make food for my kids. I can't just stop eating cold turkey (you could take that literally, or figuratively there!). When I go to a restaurant, I feel like if I don't eat everything on my plate, that I am wasting the food... even if I can get a box and take it home. It's a struggle every day. When I did my internship, it was at a weight loss center, ironically enough. I actually learned a lot there. I followed the diet and lost weight quickly.. but then life happened and I slowly began eating badly again. I know the tools for losing weight.. but this is the one thing in my life that I can't control. I can control it for a little while, but then it controls me again.. I hate being fat. I fucking hate it. I hate being big and not being able to wear cute clothes. I hate my double chin. I hate that I'm bigger than all of my friends. I hate that I can't do certain things because I'm too fat. There is nothing I like about being fat, except it makes me look younger because the lines don't show up on my fat face. I dont even know what my REAL face looks like. I saw some photos that a friend took the other night at my college graduation and was completely disgusted. How can I do this to myself? Or to my kids? I don't want my kids to get older and be embarrassed of me or develop my same bad habits. I was put on blood pressure medication last month. I don't want this. I don't want to have to take a bunch of pills. My mom has always had BP problems. and last year she found out she was a diabetic. I don't want to follow in her foot steps. I'm trying to get a job as a medical assistant. I'm going to have to be on my feet all day and it's going to be painful. How can I take care of other people looking like this? It's not ok. This has to be fixed before I'm not ok.
If you feel like opening up and sharing a deep dark secret, link up and join us!!
Brutally honest can be difficult, but good, right? I'm about to talk about a problem that has been a problem in my life for.. most of my life and it's been a big embarrassment for me since I was a kid. I have a severe addiction to food. No, I'm not even joking. I'm fat. I've been fat since I was a young child. As far back as I can remember, I loved to eat. I was an only child and my father wasn't in my life, so it was always just my mom and I. My mom is overweight, too. I would be rewarded with food. We would celebrate things with food. I remember ordering pizza and spitting the entire thing in half, and eating until I felt sick. I've been on a million different diets. I spent my school years being made fun of. I was always picked last in gym class. I was called every name possible. Boys were never interested in me; I was the one they came to for advice because they liked my friend instead. I started a blog 4 years ago that was originally meant to be about my weight loss journey. It's still active on blogger, you can check it out here ... but I don't think it has been updated in over a year, probably. I just checked, it's been over a year. lol. I did lose weight, I lost like 45 lbs and was feeling great. My husband and I had just split up when I started the blog. However, 4 months later, we got back together. Things were great at first, but as things began to get stressful, I slowly stopped eating healthy and exercising. I'm fat. I know I am. I don't need people telling me that I am. I hate myself. I've always been paranoid about meeting new people, thinking that they are going to make fun of me (due to years of bullying and being told that I was fat and disgusting). I never wanted to meet my husband's new friends because I assumed they would be thinking, "What is he doing with this fat chick?". I don't like going out to clubs or bars because I feel like everyone is looking at me. I always compare myself to all of the beautiful women out there.
Food addiction is horrible. I always want to eat. I don't feel like I am satisfied until I feel that stuffed/bloated feeling and then feel sick afterwards. Even when I do feel sick, I may be thinking about leftovers that are in the kitchen for later. Imagine a recovering alcoholic having cupboards full of alcohol and then being told not to touch any of it. I have to eat. I have to go to the grocery story. I have to make food for my kids. I can't just stop eating cold turkey (you could take that literally, or figuratively there!). When I go to a restaurant, I feel like if I don't eat everything on my plate, that I am wasting the food... even if I can get a box and take it home. It's a struggle every day. When I did my internship, it was at a weight loss center, ironically enough. I actually learned a lot there. I followed the diet and lost weight quickly.. but then life happened and I slowly began eating badly again. I know the tools for losing weight.. but this is the one thing in my life that I can't control. I can control it for a little while, but then it controls me again.. I hate being fat. I fucking hate it. I hate being big and not being able to wear cute clothes. I hate my double chin. I hate that I'm bigger than all of my friends. I hate that I can't do certain things because I'm too fat. There is nothing I like about being fat, except it makes me look younger because the lines don't show up on my fat face. I dont even know what my REAL face looks like. I saw some photos that a friend took the other night at my college graduation and was completely disgusted. How can I do this to myself? Or to my kids? I don't want my kids to get older and be embarrassed of me or develop my same bad habits. I was put on blood pressure medication last month. I don't want this. I don't want to have to take a bunch of pills. My mom has always had BP problems. and last year she found out she was a diabetic. I don't want to follow in her foot steps. I'm trying to get a job as a medical assistant. I'm going to have to be on my feet all day and it's going to be painful. How can I take care of other people looking like this? It's not ok. This has to be fixed before I'm not ok.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday Snaps: Late Snaps?
Another super busy weekend and I forgot all about Sunday Snaps until I was headed to bed last night. Ha, Ah well...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Graduation Smurf
Tomorrow is my big day. I'm finally graduating college. I got my gay ass bright blue cap and gown with the cute lil tassle on it. I'm gonna look like a great big smurf walking down the aisle, but so will everyone else! Saturday afternoon I'm having a little graduation party with family and friends. A few friends are coming over in the evening to have some drinks and to just do whatever the hell we want to. Weeeeee, should be fun! Then some of this craziness will be over for awhile.
Last weekend was hella busy. On Friday night, we had a wedding to go to, then on Saturday, the kids' birthday party. It really sucks having 3 kids' birthdays in the same week. My oldest was born October 9, 2003, and the twins October 5, 2004, thanks to my old ob/gyn that gave me the wrong dosage of birth control. I love my kids of course, but wow it was stressful having 3 babies, and then 3 toddlers all so close in age. For awhile, people thought we had triplets. Not to mention, the stress on our wallet! It's still difficult some days, but now that they are older, it's a lot easier, except for the fighting. For now, we have one big birthday party for all of them, but I'm sure as they get older, they may want their own individual party, which will really be a big pain in the ass. It also really sucks having 3 kids to buy gifts for at once. Thank god they have grandparents that help! The party did go well though and they had fun. It was a carnival theme, so we had some fun carnival type games for the kids to play, then they got to pick a prize out of a bag (even if they didn't win the game, they still got a prize).
Things are still stressful at home. I haven't had any luck finding a job, not even any nibbles. I though I had a decent job to do from home, but so far, it's turned into only being a few hours a week of work. So I'm trying to do a bunch of different smaller things. Any little bit helps and it at least covers the necessity things. It still sucks though.. and my husband just found out that his job just made a new rule that anyone on any kind of restrictions is not allowed to work. .. and the entire plant is shutting down in 6 months. Sooo even if the doctor lets him go back to work on restrictions, he won't be able to go back to his old job. WTF?? I mean, seriously. Why does it always seem to be one thing after another after another with us?? This shit gets old fast. We are old enough now that we should be living at least comfortably and not going through this bullshit all of the time. Grr, I need to start winning some more sweepstakes or something. Or start begging.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Last weekend was hella busy. On Friday night, we had a wedding to go to, then on Saturday, the kids' birthday party. It really sucks having 3 kids' birthdays in the same week. My oldest was born October 9, 2003, and the twins October 5, 2004, thanks to my old ob/gyn that gave me the wrong dosage of birth control. I love my kids of course, but wow it was stressful having 3 babies, and then 3 toddlers all so close in age. For awhile, people thought we had triplets. Not to mention, the stress on our wallet! It's still difficult some days, but now that they are older, it's a lot easier, except for the fighting. For now, we have one big birthday party for all of them, but I'm sure as they get older, they may want their own individual party, which will really be a big pain in the ass. It also really sucks having 3 kids to buy gifts for at once. Thank god they have grandparents that help! The party did go well though and they had fun. It was a carnival theme, so we had some fun carnival type games for the kids to play, then they got to pick a prize out of a bag (even if they didn't win the game, they still got a prize).
Things are still stressful at home. I haven't had any luck finding a job, not even any nibbles. I though I had a decent job to do from home, but so far, it's turned into only being a few hours a week of work. So I'm trying to do a bunch of different smaller things. Any little bit helps and it at least covers the necessity things. It still sucks though.. and my husband just found out that his job just made a new rule that anyone on any kind of restrictions is not allowed to work. .. and the entire plant is shutting down in 6 months. Sooo even if the doctor lets him go back to work on restrictions, he won't be able to go back to his old job. WTF?? I mean, seriously. Why does it always seem to be one thing after another after another with us?? This shit gets old fast. We are old enough now that we should be living at least comfortably and not going through this bullshit all of the time. Grr, I need to start winning some more sweepstakes or something. Or start begging.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunday Snaps: A Day Late
So I knew this would happen eventually. My weekend was soo busy, I forgot all about Sunday Snaps until now. Better late than never!!
Sunday, October 02, 2011
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