DOWN and Out

I feel like I'm getting another sinus infection and I'm going to be pissed if I am! I just got over one a few weeks ago. This weather is wreaking havoc on my sinuses. Argh. It's been rainy and dreary here most of the week, just adding to my depressive, sickly state of mind!

Oooh, did you see the pics from my Sunday Snaps post? Did ya? huh? My man was in there! Yess! The concert was fuckin awesome! Well, the opening bands sucked ass, but once Down went on, it was great. We were hoping it wouldn't be super crowded because it was on a weekday and it was announced last minute.. but it got pretty packed in there. We decided that as soon as the last opening band went off stage we would start heading up towards the stage to try to get a good spot. Ha! I guess everyone else had the same idea. We picked our first spot and it was miserably packed. Like we were smushed. My friend started to get claustrophobic and said she was going to go over to the side. She texted me a few minutes later saying, "get over here!".. I caught up with her and she had found the perfect spot right on the side of the stage up by the fence! Perfect viewing spot!! In fact, right before he went on stage, Phil came out right where we were! I have a photo of him that looks like he is pointing right at me because we were that close (and my mind is going to believe that he WAS indeed pointing at me!). Then after the show he grabbed my hand from the stage! I was going to try to never wash my hand again, but that didn't turn out so well. So yeah, we did hang out by the tour bus for awhile waiting for him to come out.. his other band mates came out, but he didn't. *sigh* I was soo disappointed, but at least i got to see him up close and touch his sweaty hand! I'm so pathetic, geesh.

I'm trying not to dwell on my previous post (Pour Your Heart Out). I know eventually, something has to happen. I'm just trying not to sit and think about it every day, all day, and get myself upset again. It's not good for me.

My week has been pretty ho-hum otherwise. Going down to southern Ohio with my mom and kids tomorrow to do some sightseeing. It's always beautiful down there in the fall. We normally go later in October when the leaves have all changed colors but this month is super busy every weekend and we figured this will probably be our only free weekend. Next weekend we have a wedding to go to, and a big birthday party for our kids (with the help of my mom). Eeeeek, this will be the first "big" birthday party I've thrown for the kids. Their birthdays are October 5 and October 9 (thanks to birth control, ahem), so we usually have them together, but I never had them invite school friends over before. In the past, it was always just family. Since they are older and we are in a new town/school this year, I let them invite 5 friends each from their classes. I figured that would also give me a chance to meet some other moms in the town. We are planning on having a carnival theme party in the back yard (crossing my fingers that the weather cooperates), with some small little games and prizes for the kids. I'm kinda excited about it, just sad that we don't have more money to put into it. I just hope it will be something that the kids will remember.

Doh, and see my new header up there. I'm not super happy with it, but it was pissing me off so I just left it at that until I feel like messing with it again. See that little avatar girl up there? So yeah, that's what I wish I looked like. She kinda looks like me, has some purple in her hair, some piercings that you can't really see.. she's dressed like I would dress if I looked that good, lol.. oh and get this shit, when I made her, this was the "chubby" body. Are u flippin kidding me, u ass face? I wish I was THAT "chubby!" Bite Me.

Sooo. hmm, since I'm doing the Sunday Snaps now, I guess instead of doing Photo of the Week, I will post just a random photo.. maybe an old photo, a funny photo, or whatever I feel like posting!

Random Photo of the Day

PYHO: Everything Sucks

I'm sick and tired of being broke. So broke that we can't pay our bills. My husband has been off of work for over a year now, and although he is getting worker's comp., it's not enough to pay our basic bills. I've been searching and searching for a job. I used to write for Demand Studios and earned a little bit of income from that, but their articles have gone to shit now. I'm supposed to be starting another job from home, but it's a new company and they don't launch officially until October 1. I've applied to probably 50 some jobs. My husband is constantly in a bad mood. He wants to beg his doctor to go back to work even though it could damage his shoulder worse than it already is.. just because we are having so much difficulty paying our bills. We moved to this little town a few months ago. The town runs their own utilities; gas, water, and electric. Since they run it themselves, they are not mandated by the state laws. Which means, they have no percentage of income payment plan, or any other payment plan for people who are in a financial bind, which means we are pretty much screwed in a couple of weeks. When he gets his next check, we will owe out about $400 more than what his check will be. What do we give up? Do we give up our phones so that he has no contact with worker's comp., and I have no way for a job to get ahold of me for an interview? .. Do we let the internet go so that I have NO chance of earning any kind of income? Or do we let our utilities go? WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO???? We were so desperate we even tried to get a small loan.. we figured we would get the loan, and use that for our bills for the next few months, and use his checks to pay the loan.. then hopefully in a few months, I will have a good job or he will be back to work..etc.., but even with having a house as collateral, no one will give us a loan because our credit score is too low. I mean we are absolutely out of ideas. We don't know what to do and I'm so f'n sick and tired of hearing people complain about some stupid petty little crap and saying "FML". Live my life, then you can feel bad for yourself, but for now just STFU! For the past 3 days, my stomach has been sick and nauseous. I dont know if it's some sort of bug going around or if it's just nerves and stress? I'm out of ideas. We don't even know where to turn to get out of this mess!! OH! and to make matters worse, even if my husband's doc DOES allow him to go back to work, he found out that the people that bought the company he works for, is only letting people work like 12 hours a week.. so once he is allowed back to work, he will have to go hunting for something different anyway. This crap is pissing me off. We are good people. We don't do anything wrong.

Oh, and next week is all 3 of our kids' birthdays. HA! Could I possibly feel any worse when I can't even afford to buy my kids fucking birthday gifts????

Sunday Snaps #1

Maybe one day I can turn this into a linky, if I can get anyone wanting to join? Sunday Snaps will be photos of random things from the previous weeks; however many I feel like posting! Typically, there will be no words or captions, just photos....

Stressed to the max lately. Our monthly bills are more than what my husband is getting from worker's comp.. I'm not making any money anywhere. The place I was writing for has gone to shit and has no good articles to write. I've been job hunting like crazy now that I'm finished with school. It's only been 3 weeks so I wasn't expecting to get something immediately. I did have one surprise phone interview last week. I totally wasn't expecting it and probably fucked it all up! I think I've found a decent job online (more on that another time). I haven't officially started yet, still waiting on the boss guy to send me assignments, but it could be something good once I can get started.. I will be paid hourly and will have the choice of working as many hours as I want.. I just need to get started!! As it is, my husband will get paid on Thursday, and we owe $300 more in bills than what his check will be, that's not including necessity things like gas, and toilet paper..etc.,. .. and the next check will have to go to other bills. So we are just thrilled right now. My husband's a big grumpy ass because he can't work. I don't even like being around him that much any more. He's always in a bad mood which ends up putting ME in a bad mood. Some days, I don't know whether to scream or cry.

Any way, one positive thing, is that I'm going to see my obsession on Tuesday!! I posted about this man a long time ago. He's the singer of my favorite band Pantera, Phil Anselmo. I've been pretty much obsessed with him since I was 17 years old. I met him back in 1996. I've seen Pantera in concert 4 times, but it was always in a big arena with thousands of people. Well, now he has another band called DOWN and they are playing a SMALL club in Dayton. I'm going with a friend of mine who is also obsessed with him, lol.. and we are going to try our hardest to stalk find him and meet him (again for me) since it's a smaller club. Weeeeeeeee, I'm so excited!!!!!!! I hope I dont act like a teenage girl if I meet him again. When I met him before, I got star struck and my knees became weak. I mean, seriously, I'm so obsessed with this guy, it should be illegal!!!!.. Yeah, so I know I just complained about money, but it's only costing me $20, and that won't pay any bill... and it's been YEARS since I've gone to a concert, and I've been waiting for years for him to come close around again!!! Hopefully I'll have good news next time I post that I met him and ran away with him.. i mean, wait, i'm married...

I think I'm going to do something new. On a weekly basis, not sure what day yet, I'm going to post just a bunch of photos from my week. They will just be random photos from my previous week. No words. We'll see how well I can keep up with this, haha. I think I'm also going to make a new header, and try to get some more followers here. I've been so neglectful here. I hope I'm not losing my sarcastic ouch! hmph.

PHOTO OF THE DAY

My Obsession.

B- for you! You suck!

My externship is finally done. finished.outta here! I was soo glad when it was over. It was so boring and my manager turned into a bitch. She was one of those fakely nice people. I compare her to a car salesman. She kisses everyone's butt so that they will join her program and give her money. She was nice to me at first, but then she changed. She treated me like an employee, not a student. She would show me how to do things one time (such as putting client charts together from scratch) and if I forgot one little tiny thing she would go anal-bitch on me. Instead of saying, "you did a good job, you just forgot this".. it was more like, "I TOLD YOU to do it this way!". My school advisor visited on the third week, and met with my manager and told me I was doing well. Then I get my grade last week and it's a fucking B-. Are u kidding me?? I emailed my advisor and asked if she could EXPLAIN this grade because I got no explanation whatsoever. She said she couldn't tell me what my evaluation from my manager said, because it was confidential. It's about ME but it's confidential?? That's like getting a yearly evaluation from your employer, then told, "we can't tell you what it says, because it's confidential". Are you fucking kidding me?? Ugh, I'm so pissed. I don't know what that twat said but she killed my grade. I was there on time every day, for 10 hours a day, did what she told me to do... I deserve a better fucking grade and I'm pissed!!!!!!!!!

This has been my first week off completely.. no externship, no school, no homework... nothing for me apart from housework and helping the kids with their homework! SA-WEET! I've been sending out lots of resumes and job hunting though. I need to find a job ASAP, even if it's not in the medical field, I need something!

My husband had his shoulder surgery on Monday in Columbus. So far, so good, I guess. But it sucks because I've been doing EVERY thing. Everything around the house, helping him do everything, I even gotta pull his pants up for him, lol. .. Last few days he has been grouchy. Pissed off that he can only use one arm and that he can't work. Maybe I should go back to school? hmm.. for a break? lol..

Kids are back in school, yeeehaaa! I was getting soo frustrated by the constant fighting and bickering!! Now it's only half a day instead of a full day of arguing, lol. It's really nice this year because we live so close, so I can just send them on their way and wait for them to walk in the door after school. I don't have to worry about picking them up or waiting for a bus.

PHOTO OF THE DAY

This was actually taken earlier this summer but I've entered it into a photo contest on Photobucket. If anyone actually reads this, can you do me a huge favor and go vote for it?? Pretty please?? I was in 5th place the other day, now I'm in 31st. Help!?!?

VOTE!