PYHO: Everything Sucks

I'm sick and tired of being broke. So broke that we can't pay our bills. My husband has been off of work for over a year now, and although he is getting worker's comp., it's not enough to pay our basic bills. I've been searching and searching for a job. I used to write for Demand Studios and earned a little bit of income from that, but their articles have gone to shit now. I'm supposed to be starting another job from home, but it's a new company and they don't launch officially until October 1. I've applied to probably 50 some jobs. My husband is constantly in a bad mood. He wants to beg his doctor to go back to work even though it could damage his shoulder worse than it already is.. just because we are having so much difficulty paying our bills. We moved to this little town a few months ago. The town runs their own utilities; gas, water, and electric. Since they run it themselves, they are not mandated by the state laws. Which means, they have no percentage of income payment plan, or any other payment plan for people who are in a financial bind, which means we are pretty much screwed in a couple of weeks. When he gets his next check, we will owe out about $400 more than what his check will be. What do we give up? Do we give up our phones so that he has no contact with worker's comp., and I have no way for a job to get ahold of me for an interview? .. Do we let the internet go so that I have NO chance of earning any kind of income? Or do we let our utilities go? WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO???? We were so desperate we even tried to get a small loan.. we figured we would get the loan, and use that for our bills for the next few months, and use his checks to pay the loan.. then hopefully in a few months, I will have a good job or he will be back to work..etc.., but even with having a house as collateral, no one will give us a loan because our credit score is too low. I mean we are absolutely out of ideas. We don't know what to do and I'm so f'n sick and tired of hearing people complain about some stupid petty little crap and saying "FML". Live my life, then you can feel bad for yourself, but for now just STFU! For the past 3 days, my stomach has been sick and nauseous. I dont know if it's some sort of bug going around or if it's just nerves and stress? I'm out of ideas. We don't even know where to turn to get out of this mess!! OH! and to make matters worse, even if my husband's doc DOES allow him to go back to work, he found out that the people that bought the company he works for, is only letting people work like 12 hours a week.. so once he is allowed back to work, he will have to go hunting for something different anyway. This crap is pissing me off. We are good people. We don't do anything wrong.

Oh, and next week is all 3 of our kids' birthdays. HA! Could I possibly feel any worse when I can't even afford to buy my kids fucking birthday gifts????